I consider myself quite rebellious.
During my time in school, I was taught by a painter who excels in hyper-realistic techniques. I began learning traditional painting techniques, starting with visual elements such as tone, light and shadow, contrast, texture, perspective, form, positive and negative spaces. However, instead of imitating, I prefer to reject and destroy these rules and forms, and try to reconstruct visual elements on canvases using methods such as restriction, replacement, overlap, flattening, unfolding, blurring, etc - I believe painting can be presented by more than one way.
I bring this rebelliousness into my writing and self-identity.
I believe that written works do not require support from extensive theoretical knowledge complex and excessive vocabulary and intricate plots. I deliberately remove a lot of content that was not directly related to the central idea, and push the development of the central idea through the rhythm and melody of plots and words in sentences, as well as the different interpretations of symbols by different people. As Jacques Derrida pointed out, the trace is a necessary presence in its necessary absence. I value the "missing" and "blurry" parts in written works, and find it interesting how different people perceive these “existence" parts.
At the same time, I believe that there is no binary opposition between sex and gender, romantic relationships and social class of human beings, but rather they exist in a fluid and intertwined state. I like to question and challenge the concepts of gender, love, and class in society in different ways, and try to reconstruct my imagination of related people and things by another approaches. It is better for someone to point out that I am finding spaces for various small rebellions by loosening the framework of tradition and rules, rather than saying that I am rejecting tradition and rules.
All these rebellions probably stem from personal identity - I believe I am so “strange (queer)”, whether in gender or beyond. This kind of strangeness means trying not to conform to most traditional norms, and refusing to meet many societal expectations. The identity of sexual minorities, meanwhile, deepens the feeling of not being recognised and not receiving fair treatment. Coupled with countless anger and frustration in my relationships and experiences, this accumulates into the root of "rebellion".
I do not like living in a sense of powerlessness. Therefore, I want to try to vent and sort out my rebellion through my works, and at the same time see if I can make any changes myself.
When creating, I am both thinking about the meaning of a painting, a written symbol, and a self, as well as how to deconstruct, integrate, and reinterpret them. Based on the nature of "rebellion", I see my painting, writing, and concepts as similar creative media, and often include all three in my works, expressing ideas through their mutual traction and influence.
Although my works are full of turbulence in terms of visuals and concepts, I long to find a calm balance in each work. I see this as a kind of romance to myself and my work, a romance connected to the reality.